Woman shows poor judgement in preserving cockatoo surprise

Cincinnati, OH: A hidden animatronic cockatoo recently chattered at an inopportune moment, resulting in a mother being forced to make a quick decision: She could either destroy her daughter’s belief in Santa or make her think she was the only one hearing a creepy voice. The talking bird had arrived in the mail a month …

Important advance made in Mad Libs word game

Cincinnati, OH: A seven-year-old girl recently discovered that the words boogers, pooping and butts make Mad Libs even more hilarious. The breakthrough reportedly occurred yesterday when she was asked for a plural noun and thought of “boogers.” This initial discovery opened the floodgate to further insights, including “pooping” being used as a verb ending in …

Marketing team misses pandering opportunity in shampoo bottle messaging

A marketing team recently forgot to include bogus claims in their product description of a shampoo formulated specifically for women. The team’s director said that key pseudoscientific language was inadvertently left off of the packaging. “We meant to add a statement that our Japanese uzu micro beads are clinically proven to make hair thicker and less …

Woman uses holiday spirit to forget about climate change

Cincinnati, OH: An area woman recently discovered that getting into Christmas makes her feel better about the declining state of the world. She made this discovery while cleaning the fridge and listening to NPR’s coverage of the latest climate change report. “It was a eureka moment,” she said. “I realized that if I switched to …

The Max and Erma's at CVG has a Parisian-style indoor patio.

Mom enjoys time alone at airport

Hebron, KY: For the first time in 7 years, an area mom experienced air travel without her young children. “I boarded the long-term parking shuttle quietly with only carry on luggage,” she said. “Passengers barely noticed me and didn’t look irritated.” Check in also went smoothly. After cruising through security without 5 bags, a car …

Mom presents evidence to seven-year-old for breakthrough theory regarding human development

A mom in Cincinnati, Ohio recently posited that OCD occurs as a normal part of brain development and only becomes pathological if it lasts past 4 years of age. She presented the findings to her seven-year-old as rationale for the toddler taking one bite from multiple containers of the older kid’s favorite yogurt. The hypothesis …