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Tracking Greta Thunberg’s voyage across Atlantic from comfort of minivan

Cincinnati, OH: Local woman Jessica Pattern was seen idling her minivan in the school pickup line Thursday as she rooted online for young climate activist Greta Thunberg. Thunberg is traveling 3,000 miles across the Atlantic Ocean in a carbon neutral sailboat to attend the United Nations Climate Action Summit in September. 

“I’m so impressed by this young lady’s moxie,” posted Pattern, continuing to idle the otherwise empty 8-seat hunk of metal with cushy leather seats. “We need young people to take a stand to preserve their future.” Thunberg is using a bucket for a toilet during the voyage and wearing the same clothes without a shower for the entire journey. She has no heat or refrigeration on the small vessel.  “Go Greta!!!” Pattern posted to Facebook as she muttered, “Jesus, this line moves slow. Just get your kid and get going already.”

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