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Ohio mom tracking Greta Thunberg’s voyage across Atlantic from comfort of minivan

Cincinnati, OH: Local mom Jessica Pattern was seen idling her minivan in the school pickup line Thursday as she rooted online for young climate activist Greta Thunberg, who is traveling 3,000 miles across the Atlantic Ocean in a climate neutral sailboat to attend the United Nations Climate Action Summit in September. 

“I’m so impressed by this young lady’s moxie,” said Pattern. “We need young people to take a stand to preserve their future.” The activist is using a bucket for a toilet during the voyage and wearing the same clothes without a shower for the entire journey. She has no heat or refrigeration on the small vessel.  The mom watched in awe as Thunberg explained that she is sailing to the climate conference in order to prevent further damage to the earth and to set an example for others considering carbon-heavy travel options. 

“Go Greta!!!” The mom posted to Facebook, continuing to idle the otherwise empty 8-seat hunk of metal with cushy leather seats. “Jesus, this line moves slow. I have to take a dump,” she said. “I just hope people read my post and take notice of Greta’s grit.”

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