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Hotline opens for parents of dumbass teens

This is the first Mommy Hack guest post! The writer, Tanya Kuzmanovic, is a perpetually frazzled writer/mother/movie lover who enjoys doing laundry, cleaning house and driving kids around in her spare time. Check out her blog at

Oakville, Ontario: A local anonymous mother is being hailed a hero by contemporary parents after lobbying to have an area telephone crisis hotline dedicate an entire line to specific parents in need. 

“Help! My Teenager is a Dumbass” opened its call center only yesterday and was already flooded with messages from desperate parents looking for advice on dealing with their dumbass children and their dumbass ideas.

“By and large, the most common crisis seems to revolve around kids reading something on Snapchat or Instagram and then immediately taking it as truth,” says call center manager Samantha Simms. “I mean if a kid reads a meme claiming the earth is flat – how are parents supposed to combat this? The meme is actual proof in their hands while all the parents have are facts gleaned from a variety of reputable and scientific sources. You see what we’re up against?”

A local teen who prefers to remain anonymous argues that the dedicated hotline is a waste of taxpayer’s money. When asked why they feel this way, their response was: “Some guy I follow on youtube said it was.”

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