Cincinnati, OH: A major technological breakthrough occurred Saturday when a local kid discovered that nail clippers can double as a Swiss Army knife. “I was clipping my nails and I flipped out the long pointy thing when I made the discovery,” said the 8 year old girl who made the breakthrough. “Now I carry it in my pocket to feel more grown up or like I’m camping.”
The girl’s mother is considering submitting the discovery for the MacArthur genius grant to further develop its potential. “I don’t know where she gets these big ideas,” said her mom. “It definitely never occurred to me as a kid—or to any other 8 year old—to use a nail clipper this way.”
Further reporting has not clarified whether anyone in the history of nail clipping has used the pointy end of the nail file for its intended purpose, which is presumably to pick gunk out from under nails.