Politics

President declares victory in Easter egg hunt

Washington, DC: In a highly irregular move Friday, President Trump was the first adult to ever participate in the annual White House egg hunt, usually reserved for children ages 3-10. “Not only was I the only president EVER to take part, I also WON!” he tweeted. 

The victory came shortly after he ran in front of toddlers heading to the most obvious eggs and snatched them up first. Then, to cement the win, Trump maneuvered the decisive egg from a 5-year-old boy who initially had collected the same amount.

“I used the principles from my book, The Art Of The Deal,” he said. “There’s a chapter called ‘how to screw your opponent against the wall,’ and it’s very useful, folks.”

Attorney General William Barr, who officiated the event, awarded the decisive egg to the President after delivering a speech about how unfairly Trump had been treated during the egg hunt.

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