Los Angeles, CA: An area woman is being hailed as incredibly brave after she enjoyed a cocktail and dessert with a full, well rounded meal. “If I get fat and some dude who lives in his mom’s basement doesn’t immediately run home and masturbate after seeing me, I’ll be fine,” she said. The statement came shortly after the scientific community reached a consensus that insecure losers usually prefer women so small they are almost invisible. There is also a consensus that ice-cream is delicious.
Previous reports falsely stated that she has no fucks left to give. She never did, in fact, care but only recently made the announcement.