Parenting

Mom pretends to follow through on punishment in craft store

Cincinnati, OH: After a local toddler ravaged a silk flower display, removed her shirt and ran wild through a Michael’s craft store Saturday morning, her mother was forced to make an unreasonably inconvenient threat with no intent to follow through. “I told her there would be no candy or TV for the rest of the day,” said the mom. There was a decidedly performative edge to the mom’s voice as passersby stopped to stare at the small blur of bare skin and blue pants darting around the store. After finally catching her child and forcing the shirt on, the mom made a show of removing candy from her cart before checkout. But reports reveal that she did, in fact, turn on the television when they returned home. “I needed a minute to rest and recover my dignity after the incident,” the mom said. “Next time there will be no TV for sure.” Recent analysis suggests that there will be multiple opportunities for the mom to make good on this latest television threat.

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