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New pro-life bill would force men to carry wasted sperm

Washington, D.C.: A new pro-life bill based on the idea that life starts with ejaculation was introduced today by House Republican Chad Hunt. “Senselessly extinguishing the spark for human life simply for a man’s convenience is wrong,” he said. “Wearing wasted sperm as a ‘scarlet letter’ to show wrongdoing will send a powerful message that masturbation is simply not pro-life.”

Hunt has suggested that old laundry detergent containers can be used to collect the wasted sperm for men to hang around their necks for the rest of their lives as penance. As containers fill, new ones will be provided and added to the load. “Some are calling for an exemption from wearing the containers during sleep or showering, but I feel that is going too easy on them,” said Hunt. “If you stop life in it’s tracks, you need to pay the consequences.”

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  1. ha ha ha — you should post this to some pro-life websites – i’m willing to bet that not only do they believe every word written – but they get behind it and push for it to become actual law – LOL

    1. the mommy hack says:

      So true! Did you see this? It’s one lawmaker’s response to how ridiculous the extreme anti-abortion measures are. Seems like she’s trolling them by introducing a bill that looks like satire. I saw it after writing my article- pretty awesome.

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